How Not To Provoke Your Children

Children are precious gifts from God; and so they should be appreciated and not provoked. They need to be encouraged and corrected, but not to the point of exasperation. There are so many precautionary measures you could take in order not to provoke them, some of which include:

1.Don’t over react: When a child does something, which, in your own opinion is wrong, do not over react by meting out a punishment that is far greater than the offense. If the law of your country permits flogging, you may flog him/her; but don’t do it to the point of injuring the child or leaving a permanent scar on him/her. If you over react, you are likely to provoke that child.

2.Don’t withhold their food: Foods should not be used as punishment against an erring child. You should apply milder punishment, but never make him go hungry. He is likely to refuse further foods when the ban is lifted.

3.Stop unhealthy comparison: Never compare your children with someone else; if they are not doing well e.g. in their academics, think of ways to help them improve, rather than comparing them with someone else who has performed better. This could be a source of provocation.

4.Stop making reference to past issues: When a child does something you don’t like punish or correct him for that particular error; don’t make reference to his past mistakes. Don’t nag a child because it makes him feel bad; and this could provoke him/her.

5.Provide help if it is available: When your child needs help, you should be willing to provide that help if it is in your capacity to do so. You may need to assist him to do his assignment; and if what they need are things that you need to buy – food, clothing, books, shoes etc, you should buy them if you have the money. But if you don’t have the money, be ready to explain to them what the situation is like. Don’t assume they know; most of them do not perceive the way you do. They would become provoked if they think that you are depriving them of their rights intentionally.

6.Don’t over restrict them: You have the right to set standards for your children as to whom to associate with, what movies they should not watch, how many hours they should spend playing, etc, but you should not over do it. You should be a guide to them, to ensure they don’t make expensive mistakes. Over restriction would make them feel that they are in cage or prison; and that could make them provoked.

7.Don’t be indifferent: In as much as you are not to over restrict your children, you are also not to be indifferent in matters that concern them. They love to be corrected and even deliberately do some things to see how you would handle them. If you fail to act as a father, they could become angry that you are not taking your fatherly responsibilities.

8.Don’t lie against them: One of the things that could easily provoke a child is when you lie against them or refuse to believe them when they tell the truth.

9.Don’t transfer aggression to them: You could be provoked in the office, or by your partner; you must resist the tendency to transfer the aggression or bitterness and frustration to your children. This could also become a source of provocation to them.

How Not To Provoke Your Children

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